This is why I'll always be a student and never a teacher, lol... but I think it's really only a matter of degree. Yes, just about every sentence says something - some just reveal more, and vividly.
Here's the same basic info, drained of the character voice and the dawning realization of bitter, possessive feelings.
Damn, he was pissed. Couldn't remember the last time he'd been so mad. And jealous, too, like a kid who'd just had his favorite toy snatched right out of his hands.
His "friend" got the pleasure of getting laid, but now he was the one stuck with the secret. And damage control.
An hour at the gym was theraputic, but couldn't block out the images in his head or make him forget this new feeling dawning that Steve was supposed to be his.
The same basic information is there- but ew, I wouldn't bother reading those few lines more than once!
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Date: 2013-02-20 07:14 pm (UTC)Here's the same basic info, drained of the character voice and the dawning realization of bitter, possessive feelings.
Damn, he was pissed. Couldn't remember the last time he'd been so mad. And jealous, too, like a kid who'd just had his favorite toy snatched right out of his hands.
His "friend" got the pleasure of getting laid, but now he was the one stuck with the secret. And damage control.
An hour at the gym was theraputic, but couldn't block out the images in his head or make him forget this new feeling dawning that Steve was supposed to be his.
The same basic information is there- but ew, I wouldn't bother reading those few lines more than once!